I posted this meme on my Instagram the other day and as you’d expect got a couple of likes and laughing emojis under comments. I have to agree though, it is hilarious, not to mention one of the shadiest shades in this era of shades.
So lately I’ve been doing a lot of introspection and self assessment and I’ve realized I also pull this face when I see some people’s holiday pictures or even another makeup artist (read competition)’s great work on their client on social media. I most probably have been like this all my life, the difference is I’m now very self-conscious and self-critical.
So yes, I do get jealous every now and then; we all do. See the thing about jealousy is that it can easily find a home in your heart when you’re not looking. You HAVE to admit to jealousy…that’s the first step to freeing yourself. “But how?”
- Ever found yourself pulling that look in the picture while looking at or listening to other people talk?
- Ever utter words like “Yes she’s beautiful and successful BUT….”; “I’m sure she slept her way to the top”; “She’s not really all that”; “Psshh I can do better that her/ My kids are better than hers” “That’s probably her man’s car, not hers” “She can be rich and all but she’s not good looking” “Ska ba bona ba le so…” …just to mention a few?
- Ever looked at someones picture where they’re looking genuinely happy or looking great and yet you feel some kind of sadness or even anger instead of going “Wow, she looks really good/happy! I’m really happy for her”
I may have left other examples or even duplicated some but you catch my drift. If you’ve at some point have found or habitually find yourself falling into the above traps, sesi/buti you are jealous! Stop it!
See jealousy tends to sneak in without warning. No one consciously decides “Alright I’m going to be of jealous now”. You just find yourself feeling that way and if you decide to entertain that feeling it then builds itself a home in you that you start seeing nothing wrong with it.
How do you know you’ve given jealousy a king’s bed in your heart?
When you start verbalizing it, you start gossiping about the person, criticizing and badmouthing them; then those in your company fuel it up to a point where you see nothing wrong it.
What I’ve been doing lately is literally ask myself “Just who do you think you are to feel entitled to other people’s blessings? Secondly shouldn’t you be counting YOUR OWN blessings or improving yourself so you can get where they are?” I’m also training myself to think pick something I like about people before jealousy starts grabbing the nearest couch. What has always been working wonders for me is to take inspiration instead. For example, if I see another make-up artist doing well, I start learning what they’re doing extremely well that I may be lacking and start practicing. Sometimes it may have nothing to do with their actual skill but how they interact with people or even how they hustle (hard work).
Two weeks ago I attended two prize-giving ceremonies at my kid’s school and none of them got the best performer medals and certificates. We all accepted that they had an intense year at the new school and decided to celebrate their friends who did well instead…until I logged on to Instagram that evening and got confronted by pictures of people’s children carrying trophies and medals…e le bo best what-what after best what-what. I felt this dark cloud of jealousy creep in fast. I then quickly told myself “Well someone had to get the medal”. I also literally counted my blessings where my children are concerned ie their health, the support structure they have, the fact that they still have both parents who are still together, both sets of grandparents who adore them, a roof over their heads, an incredible lifestyle etc. And I promise you before I knew it I was actually happy to tap the Like buttons.
Please remember this?
And this will also apply to your children as well. Someone’s kid (in your circle will always be smarter than yours, prettier than yours, more athletic than yours, happier than yours etc but they’ll nerve be YOUR children. Heck, someone’s spouse or partner will always be richer, cuter, sexier and more romantic than yours even! A lot of single people look at married couple’s “happy” pictures and become either envious or jealous. What most of them don’t realize is that some married people look at their “happy and free” pictures and get jealous! You’ll also be surprised at the number of people wishing to have (be) what you have (are).